How To Be a Goddamn Lady

This blog began with a discussion on the boards of MABTW regarding teaching women How To Be A Lady. 

Being a lady is more than just an outward appearance or surface behaviors. Much of being a Lady is how we treat others and process our thoughts and feelings inside ourselves.

As I am new to blogging, I asked a man recently for advice on subjects people might find interesting for this site. He willingly gave me a great list of ideas, but the one that caught my attention was “What Moves You?”.

It’s easy to offer a knee jerk response to such a queston. Music moves me (I play violin), working with animals moves me (I have horses and dogs and a bird and fish, and l and have always been involved in raising and training various animals), a good book, a great movie, an insightful play, an amazing piece of art, a gorgeous day with temperate weather…yes, these all can move me.

But, his prompting me to write about it then caused me to think more deeply, and question myself about what can truly move me to not only feel, but what moves me to THINK.

What truly moves me is what we all do to each other, and that it’s not all about just reacting, it’s about THINKING. And, then putting that thought into ACTION.

In making new friends we all have a period of time at the beginning of the relationship wherein there is no trust built up. Trust, like respect, is earned through continual interactions over time with one another. It’s so easy to make assumptions about someone new we’ve met from past associations that weren’t positive, from relationships where someone was untrustworthy and betrayed us.  Whether a surface betrayal or a soul-level betrayal, we all tend to carry these wounds with us into each new relationship we begin and displace them to the new relationship, deserved or not.

So, what moves me is knowing that such wounds, feelings of paranoia or vulnerability, assumptions about someone else and pessimistic expectations are the biggest obstacle to personal growth. We all must walk the line of smart self-protection versus paranoic cynicism, but if we are to mature and to find better relationships as we move along in life, it’s sometimes smarter to err on the smart self-protection side: let the other person show you by their ACTIONS as well as words if they really are as they portray themselves. Then, if they show you over time that they are as they say they are, let them in. A Lady uses her mind to find her way, not just her emotions.

You may find that in doing so, the friendship you will find in that new relationship moves YOU. 

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